It has been a l-o-n-g time since I wrote here. Looking back I can see many reasons for that to have happened, and it makes sense: in a way, I feel that my soul has been hibernating. Everything inside me slowed down and rather than actively live, I existed. Yes, for much of the past five months I have been merely existing. The world closed in even more in August as the M.E. I have been living with reasonably well since I was 19 or so, flared up and left me really struggling, literally, to move some days. There have been so many fears and so much crying and so many days when I have forced myself to try to be healthy and normal through sheer will power only to collapse, either into tears or into my bed, because - at this point of my life - I am not healthy and normal.
So to sit yesterday and find a knitting pattern I had queued on Ravelry and make a family of these cute hedgehogs to send to a swap partner felt like a waking up, a coming to myself again. I stopped knitting completely in mid-August and am now behind on the woolly schemes that had been planned out but knitting has resumed again on Archer's cardigan and while I am knitting very slowly, as long as it is simple work and I can rest often, I feel that I am at least redeeming the time I spend in bed or on the sofa. And that feels a bit more healthy and a little more normal.